Markai Durham, she faces a huge decision when she
becomes pregnant for the second time on MTV's
"No Easy Decision"
MTV's "No Easy Decision," while hardly without flaw, made for riveting television last night. As I watched Markai Durham and her boyfriend, James, contemplate their three "options"--adoption, have the baby, or abort--I already knew (as did all the viewers) that their decision had been to end the six-week-old unborn child's life.
Markai and her baby Za'Caria
But as a portrait of anguish and mixed emotions and the short-term logic and rationalizations you would expect from young people, it'd be hard to top. I would strongly recommend you watch the half-hour-long program at http://www.mtv.com/videos/no-easy-decision-special/1654990/playlist.jhtml.
The special is a spinoff of the network's 16 and pregnant which, evidently, has never discussed the reasoning that culminated in an abortion. This episode is especially powerful in that the audience is familiar with the couple who were featured in the second season of 16 and pregnant. They already have one child--Za'karia--and Markai had become pregnant less than a year after Za'karia's birth.
"I'm pregnant again," she says," I don't know what I'm going to do." (All the quotes I include are close to the exact phraseology, some are exact.)
Markai clearly is torn. Nobody puts abortion "first," she says, "nobody with a heart, at least." But she has graduated from high school and has aspirations to go to college.
When she informs her mother (whose support she obviously desperately wants) that she is pregnant, her mother says that "my heart is broken." But she also says that the odds that Markai will start college are less with two babies. To her credit Markai responds that the odds were against her finishing high school with one baby.
James keeps telling her he doesn't want Za'karia to suffer or have to "sacrifice" because of their mistakes. And although she doesn't use the word, Markai internalizes that it would be selfish not to abort. That this is for Za'karia's sake. (But she also says that she could not have aborted had she not already had Za'karia.)
As does everyone, her friend, Chambray, tells her she will support Markai's decision, whatever it may be. But after saying how hard it would be (to have another baby), she gently inquires about whether Markai can go through with an abortion and tries to help her think through her tentative decision to abort.
There's "lots of stuff we don't know," she tells Markai.
Looking for answers, Markai calls an abortion clinic where she inquires about abortion methods. She's told there is "medication" (chemical) abortion where the "pregnancy tissue [is] expelled"; and surgical abortion--"gentle suction to remove pregnancy." But what Markai really wants to know is how she will feel afterwards, indeed who she will be.
Pause. The "counselor" tells her women experience many different emotions.
By this time Markai is crying.
There are many powerful moments in the documentary and follow-up interview with the couple and with two women who had also aborted, two and six years ago, respectively. On camera with Markai both of the women affirm their decisions, indeed try to turn the "option" into an exercise in responsible parenting. But both are crying, one from the first moment we see her on camera.
In real life, doubtless Markai was angry many times with James. But the exchange in their car after the abortion (and later at dinner) captures much of the underlying dynamics.
She explains how the abortion clinic "counselor" had advised her that the road to making yourself depressed is to think of "ten fingers and ten toes with a forehead." Instead think of it as a "little ball of cells."
When James refers to the now dead baby as a "thing," they get into a quarrel about whether he had ever called the baby a baby (he denies it adamantly). Markai angrily tells him, "You just don't get it."
"A 'thing' could turn out just like that"--pointing at their daughter. "A bunch of cells can be her." Later she says quietly, "You hurt my feelings when you called it a thing."
(James, not exactly a paragon of sensitivity, she excuses. He "just didn't want to get attached" and later provided "a shoulder to cry on," which she greatly appreciated.)
In the in-studio segment, the host, Dr. Drew Pinksy, tells the audience that most women two years after the abortion feel like they made "the right decision."
When asked by Pinsky how she feels, Markai responds, "I have mixed emotions," that she is still confused.
But Pinsky will not allow her to sincerely have her own response, assuring her, "I know it feels confused but that's normal."
Three snippets to conclude our look at "No Easy Decision." When talking with her friend Chambray, Markai remarked that another close friend had asked about adoption, an alternative she instantly says it is "not an option" for her. "If I feel that baby kick inside of me," Markai says, "…I'm in love with this baby already and this baby's doing nothing but making me sick."
In the in-studio interview, when Pinsky asks how she felt after the abortion, Markai said the next day she felt "normal," a response that was followed by a sniff.
Perhaps the best indication of how she felt, beyond the tears and the assurances that this was done for Za'karia is what she told James the day after the abortion. "I think God wouldn't give me something I couldn't handle."
Contact: Dave Andrusko
Source: National Right to Life
Publish Date: December 29, 2010
