Most often they are in shock, are terribly disappointed, and their first instinct might be to pressure the girl to abort, or, at a minimum, provide her with no encouragement at a very trying time in her life. So….
My favorite response, both because it both common and captured a profound truth, came in today:
"I would tell the grandparents this is 'their' Grandchild, and they have no idea how much love this baby will bring to them and their family. Get past the embarrassment, and feelings of the fact that they wish their daughter would have made a better choice."
That was the advice over and over and over again. This is not the ideal time or the ideal circumstances, we understand that. But even before the shock wears off, the tears wiped away, and the anger subsides, emphasize that this is THEIR grandchild. He or she is now part of THEIR family.
Another important common suggestion. Advise the grandparents to "Get past the guilt they may have, about [how] maybe they didn't parent good enough"—that they were too loose, or two restrictive, or should have "seen this coming" or should've this or should've that. Maybe they can use reflections on their parenting techniques another day, but today, they've got a daughter and a grandchild and the child's father to nurture.
And a wonderful conclusion to the email which reminds us of a central truth. Instead of wallowing in remorse and/or recriminations, remind the grandparents:
"But instead know that God is in charge, he has a plan for every life. I would tell them to go to the park and watch children play, think about how one could be your grandchild, which is a present of Love given to them from God above.'
Source: National Right to Life Committee
